Frankie Rodriquez

Husbands, your wives should submit to you. WAIT! Don’t forward this link to her say, “Aha! Told you so!” That won’t get you very far. It shouldn’t, either. The first time you try lording this biblical truth over her will bring you much grief, grief because you will have failed to understand God’s direction for you as a biblical husband.

Recently my wife and I had dinner with younger couple who are amazing witnesses of a just-starting-marriage couple trying to honor God in all aspects of their lives. I would categorize her (I know, that’s always dangerous) as an extrovert, an independent person who can take control of her environment. I would categorize him (you’d think I’d learn by now) as more of an introvert who looks to integrate rather than direct his environment. They are both praying and striving to bear the mantles God desires for them.

She is wanting to submit to his headship. It is probably not easy for her, at least not initially. Perhaps there are even times when she has to back up and re-start her approach when relating to her husband. He encourages her to speak her mind. She does and is anxiously willing for her husband to be her spiritual covering as she does.

He is trying to become the spiritual leader for her. It is probably not easy for him, at least not initially. Perhaps it may never be easy. He encourages his wife to be herself while he embraces his role to pray for her, serve her, build her up, intercede on her behalf, lead in prayer and service, and to dwell in the Word of God while seeking to practice the spiritual gifts He has given us. It is easier for him to let her do all this spiritual work, but he loves her too much to fail her.

She is submitting to him and I believe there are two reasons for it. First, she desires to live under the authority of Holy Scripture. She is not compromising the Word for the world’s view of a marriage contract. She is seeking to live in the Holy Covenant of Marriage as established by God in the Bible. Second, her willingness comes from his desire to honor his wife before he honors himself. No one is willing to submit when those to whom they submit are operating from a power base rather than a Godly covenant.

Husbands, there is much we can learn from this young couple. God has called us to be the head of household. Don’t put that crown on your head so fast, though. With that calling comes an expectation that we should be willing to die for our wives. Ours is not a title but a servant’s ministry. Are you leading in prayer? Probably not used to it or don’t know how, right? Well—learn. Have someone teach you. Are you building your wife up in God’s esteem for her? She should be the most important thing in your life. She should be the center of your free time. Not golf. Not fishing. Not goin’ out with the boys. Have children? You should be first to change their diapers or wipe their noses or coordinate their social schedule.

I am not an enabler of co-dependency in relationships…except when it comes to marriage! When both persons are mentally and spiritually healthy, co-dependency is precisely the type of relationship you should be having as husband and wife.

You can make it happen, husbands. God wants to help you make it happen. Find someone who has a faith-filled, biblical marriage and they will share with you their joys and labors. It takes a tough man to make it happen. So, man up!

Filed under: marriage Tagged: | Head of household, husbands