Frankie Rodriquez

I am the one who usually travels in my household. All excursions away from the family have been job-related; there is nothing about leaving the family that I enjoy. But today begins a week in which my wife is making a business trip and I am at home with the children and running the household.

I have gained a wealth of information in the past few days as I was being prepared for this time. Here are a few things I have learned around the house:

• If any come in, the bills will be paid because I know where all the bank accounts are recorded and managed. Especially important is the place on my wife’s desk where she wants me to put the bills so she can take care of them when she gets back.
• The housekeeper coming on Friday will be paid. My wife left me a check for her.
• The children will not have to worry about groceries because peanut butter and Ramen noodles abound. My wife went to the grocery store yesterday.
• The Great Danes eat better than we do.
• All I have to say is “room zoom” and the children know to stop everything and pick up everything around them, put them in their proper places, clean up their rooms and make their beds. I guess, “Honey, if you don’t pick up your stuff…” doesn’t work for them.
• The Great Danes have more sleep opportunities than we do.
• I was getting angry because I thought my family was racist. But my wife was showing me how to differentiate between “colors” and “whites”. We will all have clean clothes.
• If all else fails, I am to contact the neighbor next door—not the husband. The wife. She will know what to do.

So I am fully prepared to be in charge this week. This “head of household” stuff is great!